THINGS THAT I STILL CANNOT BELIEVE WERE SAID ON SUPERNATURAL
Dean:“Dude, stow the touchy-feely, self-help yoga crap.”
Dean: "Your half-caf, double vanilla latte is getting cold over here, Francis."
Sam:”I had a crappy guidance counselor.”
Dean to the scarecrow:”Dude, you fugly.”
Dean:“I hope your apple pie is freakin’ worth it.”
Dean:“That fabric softener teddy bear? Oh, I’m gonna hunt that little bitch down.”
Sam:“What kind of a house doesn’t have salt? Low sodium freaks!”
Dean:“MySpace, what the hell is that? Seriously, is that like, some sort of porn site?”
Sam:“We’re not working for the Mandroid!”
Dean: “Yeah, you know what? There’s a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams and they shoot rainbows out of their ass!”
Sam: “Wait, there’s no such thing as unicorns?”
Dean:”I think I learned a valuable lesson: Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year’s, or you might get filleted by a hooker from God”.
Dean to Sam:”Dude, you full-on had a girl inside you for like a whole week. That’s pretty naughty”!
Sam as described by Dean:“Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don’t have any time for any of your blah blah blah blah.”
Dean: “What’s a P.A.?”
Sam: “I think it’s kind of like a slave.”
Dean:“Snow White? I saw that movie. The porn version anyway. There was this wicked Stepmother. Woo, she was wicked.”
Dean to Sam:“Dude, could you be more gay? Don’t answer that.”
Dean:”You fudgin’ touch me again, I’ll fudgin’ kill ya!
Sam and Dean (in unison): “Yeah right. Nice guess. It wasn’t guess. Right, you’re a mind reader. Cut it out Sam. Sam! You think you’re being funny but you’re being really, really childish. Sam Winchester wears make-up. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchesters keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up … OK, enough!”
Harry:”Ed, you’ve got to go be gay for that poor dead intern.”
Dean, explaining why he thinks he got out of Hell:”I’d like to think it’s because of my perky nipples.”
Dean:”Sammy, wherever you are, mom is a babe. I’m going to hell … again.
Dean:“That is exactly why our lives suck. I mean,come on,we hunt monsters!What the hell? I mean,normal people,they see a monster,and they run.But not us,no,no,no,we search out things that want to kill us. Or eat us!You know who does that? Crazy people! We are insane!You know, and then there’s the bad diner food and then the skeevy motel rooms and then the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash.I mean,who wants this life,Sam? Seriously? Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don’t think so! I mean,I drive too fast. And I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again, and I sing along.I’m annoying,I know that.And you,you’re gassy!You eat half a burrito,and you get toxic! I mean,you know what?You can forget it.Stay away from me Sam,OK? Because I am done with it.I’m done with the monsters and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse. I’m out. I’m done. Quit.”
Dean:”Zombie-ghost orgy, huh? Well, that’s it. I’m torching everybody.”
Dean:”On Thursdays, we’re teddy bear doctors.”
Sam: “She was convinced that he wasn’t her real daddy.”
Dean:”Who was? The plumber,hmmm? A little snaking the pipes??
Sam:”Dude, you’re confusing reality with porn again.”
Dean:”Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge.”
Dean:“The whistle makes me their god.”
Bobby:“You stupid, stupid son of a bitch. Well,boo-hoo!I am so sorry your feelings are hurt,princess!”
Dean:“Oh yeah, life as an angel condom. That’s real fun. I think I’ll pass, thanks.”
Castiel about the location of God:“No, he’s not on any flatbread.”
Dean to Castiel:”Last time you zapped me someplace, I didn’t poop for a week.
Dean to Castiel:“There are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch.”
Dean to himself in “The End”:“She made us try on her panties. They were pink. And satiny. And you know what? We kind of liked it.”
Bobby:”Now have we done feeling our feelings? Because I’d like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.”
Sam:“I have genital herpes.”
Dean: “Calm down?? I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags! I hate this game! I hate that we’re in a procedural cop show, and you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows! There’s like three hundred of them on television, they’re all the freakin’ same.”
Sam (whose body is being used by a teenage boy):“I would love to have the sex with you.”
A hotel clerk describing Dean and Sam:“One leather jacket, one sasquatch.”
Sam:“Dude, you punched a cupid.”
Dean:“No, I punched a dick.”
Castiel:”I found a liquor store. And I DRANK IT.”